


Ride

by Sitrus



Series: The Umbrella Academy things [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diarrhea, Emetophilia, Gen, Norovirus, Scat, Sickfic, Vomiting, emeto, kinda past diego/eudora but that comes with the thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 01:51:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18539875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sitrus/pseuds/Sitrus
Summary: Diego's conflicted about accepting Eudora's offer to drive him home. He wants nothing more than to curl up on his bed and sleep off the bug (the sweet release of death is starting to sound alluring as well, he has to admit), but he doesn't want to risk Eudora getting sick. And noroviruses spread easily.





	Ride

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited as always. Sorry.

Diego had felt all right when he left his home earlier that day. In fact he’d been feeling so fine he completely forgot there might be a risk of him having caught something. He’d completely forgot having potentially been in contact with someone who was sick with something as contagious as the norovirus. And when his stomach first started aching and the nausea started building up about half way through investigating a crime scene, Diego still didn’t connect the dots. He ignored it, and continued to do so until a little before he heard the actual police arrive. By then the nausea and the aching had got bad enough to force themselves not to be ignored, and Diego had no choice but to acknowledge them and to accept he might have got sick. But it still wasn’t until he sneaked out of the back door and into a sidealley that he remembered there was an epidemic in town and that he probably, even definitely had caught the damn virus.

Diego sat down on the steps leading down from the building’s door to the street and buried his head into his hands. The nausea was getting bad but he didn’t want to give into it yet. The police had arrived and Diego knew they were hard at work inside the building probably causing there to be a crowd of some sort in front. Someone would probably sooner or later get into the alley he was waiting on but he would rather wait and see than to leave now since the alley was a dead-end and he would rather not face all the cops. With luck there’d be some kind of a distraction that would allow him to sneak past them, but in all honestly Diego didn’t feel like luck would be on his side.

By the time the nausea had grown sort of unbearable the police seemed to also be starting to leave. Logically Diego knew they wouldn’t be done in a while and that the sounds he heared were just some of the people with less work at the scene leaving. He also knew, logically, that there was no way he would be able to wait until he got home to give into the symptoms. The scene was almost on the other side of the city and judging by the salivation and the way his throat felt he had maybe minutes before he’d be forced to spew his guts out.

Diego lifted his head up from his hands to check his options. He was glad to see a dumpster and trash cans almost directly in front of him, especially because moving semed to amplify the nausea and almost push him over the edge. He shot up to his feet and dashed to the nearest trash can, grabbing its rim with both hands as he heaved into it. He couldn’t tell how long it took for the nausea to quell enough for the heaving to stop but he heard the door close behind him by the time he was trying to spit out any stomach contents remaining in his mouth. Judging by the sounds someone had entered the alley and stayed somewhere by the door.

“You can’t stay out of crime scenes even when you are sick, huh? You could have contaminated the whole scene and ruined the investigation, you know that, right?”

Eudora. Great.

Diego spat one last time into the trash can and took a deep breath. He turned around, trying to make his body stop trembling and to keep the still persistent nausea out of his face. He knew it was for nothing since Eudora had clearly entered the scene while he was still vomiting and even if she had come out right after he’d stopped, she’d still seen him leaning over the trash can. He also couldn’t hide the cold sweat covering his brow, and he knew he must have looked shaky and sick seeing how Eudora eyed him. Fuck it.

“I was fine when I came”, Diego said, trying to keep it short. He really didn’t feel like speaking and he had to swallow against the nausea even after so few words. Luckily that was enough for the time being.

Eudora kept eyeing him for a little longer, something Diego really didn’t like. He tried to keep his composure, to keep up his act and to look all though and strong in a moment of weakness, but as the silence dragged on he felt himself crumble. He hunched forward a little at first, then stopped fighting the trembling and general exhaustion. Suddenly he felt a lot weaker, his stomach felt achy and his throat still burned from the acid. The nausea was still prominent enough for increased salivation. But most importantly he really didn’t feel like standing up unaided under her stare, so he moved to stand in front of the dumpster and leaned his back against it. Then slid down to crouching position.

“You look terrible”, Eudora finally said. Diego wasn’t sure why she bothered. He swallowed again and wrapped one arm around his stomach, closing his eyes. Not so surprisingly the dumpster area smelled and equally not surprisingly that didn’t make him feel any better.

“Should I give you a ride home?”

Diego cracked his eyes open and looked at Eudora. Considering he was probably very contagious he didn’t want Eudora to get close and even less he wanted to make her be together with him in a small enclosure such as a car, but getting a ride home sounded perfect. Ideally the dumpster behind his back would have been his home so he could have just curled up there and dealt with the rest of the bug without any kind of travelling. He wasn’t that lucky. Diego shrugged.

“I can’t leave you here either. Come on”, Eudora said and took the two steps down from the door to the street.

Diego swiped one hand over his face and took a deep breath before pushing himself back on his feet. He stayed leaning against the dumpster for a few seconds to see if the nausea would spike again with the shift of position but luck was on his side this time. No round two of vomiting. He followed Eudora to his car, not even caring about the looks some of the other cops might have given him. He had to stand and wait next to the car while Eudora rummaged through whatever she kept inside, which wasn’t ideal but he could tolerate it.

“I just need to wrap up here, I’ll be back in a few”, Eudora said when she turned to him again. She was holding a clear plastic back in one hand. “You can lie down on the backseat if you want.”

She handed him the bag and left to finish her work. Diego did as she suggested and lied down on the backseat, leaving the door open and his legs hanging out with feet touching the ground. He lay one arm over his eyes and rested the other on his aching stomach, hoping the pressure would help. It did, to a degree, but his stomach still felt worse by the minute. There was an ominous heaviness in his abdomen and his stomach kept gurgling nauseatingly and all he could do was hope none of that meant anything. Not that he thought much about anything while waiting for Eudora to return - the nausea was overwhelming enough to draw most of his attention and make thinking an unpleasant activity.

“Ready to go.” Eudora’s voice pulled Diego out of his silent suffering. He sat up, immediately pressing his bagless hand on his mouth. His cheeks burned with the nausea and his mouth was filling with saliva and he barely managed to open the bag fast enough with his free hand to direct the rush of vomit inside it instead of the ground in front of him. He pressed the bag tightly around his mouth, all too aware of how the virus could spread through just air. It wasn’t a comfortable solution but if he had to vomit in her presence then he’d at least do his best to minimise the risk of her catching anything. Considering the ride home he would have prefered to keep the bag empty; he was sure he could smell the vomit even if he managed to keep the bag tightly closed and even if he kept his eyes closed or turned away from it so that he didn’t need to see the contents, he could still feel it wasn’t empty. Not that he vomited a lot during round two. He supposed he had already brought up most of his stomach contents on round one.

Diego moved to sit on the front seat for the drive. He would have prefered to be horizontal but he also knew that in a moving car while already nauseous it was best for him to take the front seat. He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes, taking slow and steady breaths as the car started moving. Being in a moving vehicle while clutching a bag full of vomit really didn’t help him feel better, but he managed well enough considering the circumstances. Was in the verge of vomiting around half of the drive? Sure. Did he vomit while inside the car? No.

He did develop another kind of problem though. Not long after they left the crime scene it became obvious to Diego there was no avoiding a trip to the toilet at some point in the near future. As much as he had hoped for this bug to not give him diarrhea on top of the vomiting, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel his stomach churning or the pressure building at the other end. 

The situation was very much unideal. All Diego wanted was to get home. To be done with the ride and to be home, to curl up on his bed and to sleep off the bug (after emptying his insides, he supposed). One of the last things he wanted was to contaminate a public restroom with the virus, but the longer they rode the more at risk of shitting himself were he to vomit he felt. They were maybe ten minutes away from his place when he decided he couldn’t risk it any longer and asked Eudora to stop.

Eudora pulled the car into the parking lot of a nearby gas station. Diego had unfastened his knife-harness as preparations and shed it on his seat as he got up. He tried to look normal as he walked inside, throwing the bag into the trash can outside of the building against his better judgement on his way there, and got into the toilet. He felt confidently empty after a few heaves and thankfully clean at the other end, and sat down on the seat. He groaned in relief at being able to relax without soiling himself. Even if it could just as well have been a groan of discomfort as the first wave of muddy shit shot out of him with the force of a stomach cramp behind it, after all the holding in it almost felt good to finally be able to let it all out. Diego didn’t enjoy it - who would - but he was thankful to be blasting out diarrhea at some gas station’s toilet instead of in his pants in Eudora’s car. He would still rather not have shit pouring out of his ass in liquid form. It felt and smelled disgusting and was not at all how shitting was supposed to happen. 

Several minutes of gurggling sharts and streaming shit later, Diego felt confident he could survive home. The need to shit had subsided for the time being and while his stomach was definitely not settled, he doubted there was enough of anything inside him to cause much trouble on the short ride they have left. He cleaned himself and went to wash his hands, but ended up heaving what ever fluids had remained in his stomach in the sink. He wondered if he should tell the gas station staff their toilet was full of norovirus, but decided he didn’t want to interact with anyone. Aside from Eudora. It wasn’t like the toilet looked or smelled clean to begin with, who ever used it did so at their own risk because the staff or the owner didn’t seem to care much about keeping it clean.

Eudora was waiting in the car when he returned, but she had clearly got out at some point because there was a bag between the seats. She handed it to him when he sat down and he looked inside it to find two bottles of some sports drink and a bag of white bread. He didn’t feel like ingesting anything but he was glad anyhow. Logically he knew it was important to keep hydrated and he also knew the electrolyte drinks had their own benefits. The bread would have to wait.

“Thanks”, he said when she pulled to a stop in front of the building he lived in.

“Call me if you need anything.”

Diego turned to face Eudora, wanting to tell her he could take care of himself and that he was capable of getting what ever he may have needed without anyone’s help. Then he remembered his hands were trembling from exhaustion just as he sat there, and how weak his legs felt and how all he really wanted to do was curl up on his bed because his stomach was aching so much. He’d probably just grab the bucket, go to bed and hope his intestines didn’t wish to join the party again.

“You should like… disinfect this whole car. Boil your clothes.” Diego said. His voice was rough from all the vomiting and his words weren’t as clearly articulated as usual. He stared at her as intensely as he could in his condition. Then realisation washed over him and he added: “shit, I shouldn’t be talking in here. I shouldn’t be _breathing_ near you. You’re gonna catch it.”

“You think it’s noro?” Eudora asked. Diego wasn’t sure but he thought he could hear barely contained amusement in her voice.

“It’s not funny. Of course it’s noro.” As if that should have been clear to her. It was clear to him. What else would it be.

“Get your ass into bed then and stop worrying about me”, Eudora said. “There are plenty of other people I might catch it from, you know. You aren’t the only person sick.”

Diego wanted to argue but the exhaustion and the nausea as well as the need evacuate his bowels were a very persuasive force. He opened the car door, gathered his things and got up.

“Thanks”, he said, lifting up the back with the groceries. He was thankful for everything, not just the drinks and the bread, but talking made the nausea peak.

“Go get some rest”, was all Eudora said. Diego closed the door and watched Eudora drive off despite his personal discomfort.


End file.
